A simple phone-free evening routine for parents

A phone-free evening routine starts with one part of the night when you put your phone away. Choose a clear start and finish, keep urgent calls available and plan when you’ll check messages again.

You don’t need to make the whole evening phone-free. Start with dinner or the first book at bedtime, then see how it fits.

Here’s a sample routine you can change to suit your family.

Start with the evening you already have

Write down what normally happens after work or daycare. Include the awkward parts, such as late pickups, cooking and children who go to bed at different times.

Look for one short window when your phone gets in the way.

That might be ten minutes on the couch after pickup. It might be the meal itself, rather than the whole hour spent making it.

Choose a window you can manage most days. You can use a different plan on nights with sport, shift work or other commitments.

Step 1: Do a short phone check

Before your chosen time starts, check anything that needs an answer.

Reply about tomorrow’s pickup. Read the message from work. Check the time of the appointment.

Decide what can wait and what needs to reach you. If you’re on call, keep the right contact method available.

Give yourself a clear stopping point. “I’m replying to these two messages” is more useful than opening every app to see what’s new.

Then put the phone in its spot.

Step 2: Choose where the phone goes

Use a shelf, drawer or charging point you can reach when needed.

Avoid placing it beside your plate or on the couch next to you. Choose somewhere you won’t keep seeing the screen light up.

If several adults want to join in, agree on a place together. Each person can still decide which calls they need to receive.

Keep the plan simple enough that you can follow it while carrying bags, finding socks and getting dinner ready.

Step 3: Pick one part of the evening

Try one of these starting points:

• After pickup: put your phone away while you have a snack together.
• Dinner: leave phones off the table until the meal is done.
• Bedtime: pause scrolling from the first book until you leave the room.
• After dinner: spend ten minutes playing before starting the next job.

Choose one. You don’t need to add them all on the first day.

For dinner-specific ideas, see our guide to phone-free family dinners.

Step 4: Use what you’re already doing

Family time can fit around everyday jobs.

Your child might help match socks while you fold washing. You could talk while they draw at the table. You might sit beside them while they explain their game.

If everyone is tired, choose a quiet option. One book or a few minutes on the floor may fit better than a new activity with lots of setup.

For more choices, try our ten-minute games. Keep a few favourites in mind so you don’t need to search for ideas each night.

Step 5: Set a time to check again

Choose a point when you can catch up on your phone.

It could be after the meal, when another adult takes over or once bedtime is done. Use what works in your home.

If the evening changes, change the plan. A child being unwell or an urgent call may need your attention.

You can return to your phone-free window after dealing with it. You haven’t lost the whole evening because you used your phone once.

A sample evening plan

Try this as a starting point:

• Before dinner: check and reply to urgent messages.
• During dinner: keep the phone in its charging spot.
• After dinner: check anything needed for tomorrow.
• During the bedtime book: put the phone away again.
• After bedtime: use your phone if you want to.

This is an example, not a rule. If you only choose dinner, that is a complete plan.

What if you work evenings?

Choose a window between work tasks rather than trying to stay offline all night.

Tell people when you’ll reply if your job allows it. Keep work tools available and pause apps you don’t need.

If your work hours change, start a short session by hand rather than using the same schedule every day.

Those Little Years lets you pause selected apps on your own iPhone. You can use a one-off session or repeating Family Hours. Explore the app.

What if you keep picking it up?

Notice when it happens. Are you waiting for dinner? Sitting down after a long day? Checking a message that turns into scrolling?

Change one thing. Move the charging spot, shorten the window or block the app you keep opening.

Our guide to stopping scrolling around your kids covers this in more detail.

Try the routine for a few evenings

After each try, ask what worked and what got in the way. Keep the parts that helped and change the rest.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends including adults in a family media plan and reviewing the plan as needs change. Its family media plan guide is a useful next step.

For tonight, choose one time, one place for your phone and one point when you’ll check it again.