Phone-free family dinners: simple ways to start

To start phone-free family dinners, choose one meal and agree where phones will go. Check urgent messages before sitting down and make a plan for anyone who needs to stay on call.

Keep the first try short. It could be breakfast at the weekend or the first ten minutes of dinner.

You don’t need a long meal or a table full of conversation. Start with the meal your family already has.

Choose one meal to try

Pick a meal when the people taking part are likely to be home.

If evenings are rushed, try lunch on a day off. If one adult works nights, choose a meal that fits their roster.

Decide when the phone-free part starts and ends. “While we eat” is clear. “Use phones less tonight” leaves more room for confusion.

Try the plan for a few meals, then ask what worked. You can keep it to one meal if that suits your family.

Talk about the plan first

Bring it up before everyone sits down.

Explain what you want to try: “Let’s put our phones on the bench while we eat.”

Ask other adults what they need. One person may be waiting for a work call or an update from a relative.

For children with phones, agree on a rule adults will follow too. If an adult needs an exception, explain it plainly rather than picking up the phone without saying why.

Give phones a place to go

Choose a shelf, bench or charging spot away from the table.

Putting a phone face down may still leave it within easy reach. Try a spot where it won’t be picked up between bites.

Keep it somewhere you can hear calls you need. Check sound and Focus settings if you change them.

A shared spot can work, but each person needs to understand the plan. You don’t need to take anyone’s phone without asking.

Deal with useful phone tasks first

Before dinner, check anything that cannot wait.

Read the pickup message, look at tomorrow’s calendar or send the reply you need to send.

If you use your phone for music, start it before sitting down. If you need a timer while cooking, finish using it before moving to the meal.

When a task comes up during dinner, ask if it needs doing now. Looking up a word or sending a photo may be able to wait.

Keep work and care needs in the plan

Phone-free dinners need room for real life.

If someone is on call, agree how they’ll be reached. They might keep calls available while pausing other apps.

If a call needs answering, take it. When it’s finished, return the phone to its spot.

You can also choose a shorter window on those days. Ten minutes without scrolling may fit better than a rule that no one can use a phone for the whole evening.

Don’t turn dinner into an interview

You can talk, but you don’t need to keep asking questions.

Tell your child something from your own day. Comment on the food or what you plan to do afterwards. Leave time for them to speak.

If you want a prompt, try:

• What made you laugh today?
• What did you play?
• What would you like to do this weekend?
• What should we cook another day?

Use one question, then follow the answer. It is fine to have quiet parts of the meal too.

Start small with younger children

Choose a length of time that fits your child.

You might begin with everyone sitting together for a few minutes. You don’t need to keep a toddler at the table just to meet a phone-free target.

If one adult gets up to help a child, the plan can still apply to the adults who are eating.

Avoid making the meal a test of behaviour. Keep the phone rule simple and deal with other mealtime needs as they come up.

What if everyone is used to phones at dinner?

Change one thing first.

Try putting phones away for the first part of the meal. Or choose one phone-free dinner each week and see how it goes.

Explain the rule before the meal so it is not a surprise. Ask older children to help choose the place for phones and the time to try.

The American Academy of Pediatrics includes shared family rules and adult phone use in its family media plan guidance. Its plan can help with a wider family discussion.

Use a block if you keep checking

If you reach for social media during meals, pause those apps for dinner.

Those Little Years works on your own iPhone. Choose the apps you want paused, then start a session or set repeating Family Hours.

Leave the tools you need available and test the setup first. Explore the app.

For other parts of the night, see our phone-free evening routine.

Try one meal this week

Agree on the meal, the place for phones and any urgent contact needs.

Afterwards, ask whether the plan was easy to follow. Change anything that made it hard.

Keep the next meal simple too. You don’t need a new activity, a special dinner or a long list of rules to try again.